I used to be on medication for panic disorder and depression. I’ve struggled with both for over a decade and some doctors have mentioned that I fit the criteria for the mild form of bipolar disorder, but an official diagnosis has never been made.
I quit my medication several months ago because my husband and I wanted to try for a baby. I did fine until my dog passed away, who was like a child to me and a source of support, and I graduated and began working as a substitute teacher.
Over the past few weeks, I have been feeling very worthless, praying that God will just take me, and really wanting my life to end. I’ve not been answering calls to substitute teach and when I do, I often go to work with only two or three hours of sleep. I have been having periods of hours at a time when I feel I cannot breathe and I cry so much.
I am a little over 11 weeks pregnant and I really am afraid of what medication may do to the baby. But I feel like I am spiraling out of control. I’m not even excited about the baby like I feel I should be. I wanted to tell my doctor this, but I always seem to try to make everything seem like it is okay on the outside, then go home and suffer.
I have a therapist, but after two years of therapy she said I seemed like I was doing well. I did request an appointment with her about a week after my dog passed because I was so attached to him and felt like God took my dog because I got pregnant. I know that’s not rational, but I know I’m not the most sane person at the moment. She wasn’t very sympathetic and just wanted to congratulate me on my pregnancy.
I don’t know whether to call my OB or not. My anxiety has gotten really bad in the past week or so. I just don’t know what he could do.
Any suggestions on what to do?
Definitely talk to your OB/GYN, they can help you figure out what to do. Anxiety is not a fun thing I can agree to that. But you need to do whats best for you & baby now.